In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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