...so i touched it.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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