At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
