He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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