were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
