I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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