i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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