So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
