Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
