Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
