It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
