fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
