Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
