I look better un-naked...
they need to just BURY HIM!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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