nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
