i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
