I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize