is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
