Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
