Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Couch. On fire.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
