absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
