I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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