Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's never too late to be topless.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
