The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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