STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
