Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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