had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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