You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
