Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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