If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
