The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
