Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need to sanitize my soul.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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