is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
