I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
