He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
