I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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