i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
