i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Sober January is a disaster.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize