Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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