So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
