Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We're too hungover to prance.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize