I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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