508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
