She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
