just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
