do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
