Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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