508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
