THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
