she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
