You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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