On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this just has baby written all over it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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