Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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