my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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