a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm bleeding and have questions
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
