Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
